Several weeks ago Christy (an old friend of a friend and a new friend of mine) suggested I read a book called "90 Minutes in Heaven" by Don Piper. It is the story of a pastor who was in a car accident and was legally dead for 90 minutes. Well, I went out and bought it and have made my way about half-way through it. It is an easy read, but sometimes difficult through tears. My initial intention in reading this book was to find out what it felt like for the author to go to heaven for 90 minutes. Strangely that part of the book is rather short. The middle part, where I am now, is about Don's recovery from the accident. I just finished up a chapter where Don realizes he needs to allow others to do for him. He is spending what amounts to months and months laying in a bed and everyone who visits offers to get him things or read to him. He continues to turn them down until on of his friends sets him straight. By allowing his friends and family to give what they could he is allowing them to heal and give him strength. In the end, he learns a huge lesson.
After Philip died, I was so out of it. I think in part it had to do with the 4 epidurals (a hospital record...I truly believe that medication stayed with me for days) and the pain meds I continued to take. It also had to do with putting off my grief until everything was done...the arrangements, the funeral. In those first couple of days I just gave up all power. Physically, because of the c-section, I just could not do alot. Reading Don's words made so much sense to me. In times like those you need to allow people to help. It does take some of the pressure off you, but it also helps them. Now ya'll know that is not my way...I am sooo independent...almost to a fault. But I let everyone help and boy did they! My friend Rhonda and my sister-in-law Amanda went on a shopping trip and found Philip the perfect outfit. My mom made all the arragements with the funeral home and the church and the cemetary. My brother and my friend Chris helped keep us all fed and keep Carlos sane. And my Aunt Colleen...master sleuth...looked all night via the internet for the perfect casket. I know that sounds a bit morbid, but the caskets for children (God forbid any of you have to know this) are really limited and many of them are quite ugly. They have some that look like large plastic containers (Google it if you think I lie), and others that are metal and cold. Colleen worked a miracle and found the perfect wood casket (just what I wanted). It was so beautiful and it was delivered all the way from Georgia in one day. Philip passed on Thursday morning and the service was Saturday. Everything needed to happen fast and it did. It was just another series of miracles from above.
Anyway, I will continue reading the book and more than likely learning more lessons. Thank you Christy for such a wonderful recommendation.