Well, today is the day...Philip's 1st Birthday. It is already a hard day and it is barely 7:30 in the morning. This time last year, Philip was 5 hours old.
Carlos picked up the cake we ordered last night. It is really cute. I will take a picture of it before we cut it, so ya'll can see. When we ordered it the lady asked what we wanted it to say...without hesitation, Carlos said "Happy Birthday Son!" I had to laugh because it was so funny and really cute at the same time. In the end we decided with "Happy Birthday Philip". In addition to the cake, we are going to release 3 ballons today. One for each of us (Cristian will get his own balloon). Carlos and I will write messages to Philip and attach them to the balloons before releasing them. We plan to spend the afternoon at the cemetary hanging out with Philip. It's a funny thing, death, it makes you do things you never thought you would. If you would have told me (even just 2 years ago) that I would want to spend an afternoon at the cemetary I would have said you were crazy. And today, I can think of no better way to spend an afternoon. It's strange how things work and how your perceptions change with time and circumstance.
On of the wonderful mom's in my online supprt group sent me a candle lighting ceremony. It is a lovely tradition Carlos and I will start tomorrow, for Philip's feast day (the day he went with God). BTW- we have Philip's story posted at:
You can also check out some of the other babies on the site, all of them were born with some version of Patau's Syndrome (Trisomy 13). Philip is part of the Treasured Memories albums, but you can click on the Children Living With Trisomy 13 link at the top of the page to read about so many sweet babies, children, teens, and adults who are living with this syndrome. It is amazing how all of us were told our babies were "not compatible with life", but many of us experienced our children living and breathing, proving those docstors wrong. The mom that gave me the candle lighting is one of the mom's from this site.
So, I think I have prepared myself as best I can for the upcoming days. I am hopeful that, once again, Philip's life will pull Carlos and I closer together. I have posted a picture of our little guy in his "coming home outfit". It was the first thing I bought for him when we found out we were going to have a boy. It is the cutest velour jogging suit ever. Light blue with a hood and tiny pockets on the jacket. Thank goodness I bought a 3 month size, as he fit just perfect in it.
BTW- Carlos has changed his mind...Cristian will not have an "h" in his name. My bad. So here it is...new and improved: Cristian Alejandro Palacios.