Yeah, an actual NEW post!

I know I am VERY behind here, but I have been in a funk lately and just haven't really wanted to post. I did upload pics a few weeks ago but still never posted. So I have taken some time to prep several posts for this week. I tried to start last night, but Cristian was not having it. I think he is teething because he just wasn't himself, crying and crying and super clingy. Hopefully by Friday we should be all caught up with the past month's activities.

We will start with a Hailey update. Hailey was born on Friday, June 12th. She spent 42 minutes with her parents before she went to heaven. You can read more about Hailey's story and her families continuing journey here. I just saw Rachelle's blog today and the pictures of Hailey's little head of curly hair, so precious.

Generally speaking, this past month has been hard for me. With grief, the emotions come and go. I have found, in addition to talking with other parents who have walked our road, the loss of a child is especially unpredictable. I remember the day that my PawPaw passed and my Granny. They were the first people that I lost that were really close to my heart. I did grieve for them, but it was different. I still miss them both to this day, but I do not burst into uncontrollable sobs when I think of them, I usually just smile. My time with them was mostly spent as a child and was filled with laughter and fun. In true grandparent fashion, they were always spoiling us and doting on our every little accomplishment. With Philip, I spent his entire life from beginning to end wondering how long I would have with him…if that day was the last day. It was very stressfull trying to cherish every day and not be stressed. Have you ever noticed how much more stressed you get when you are trying NOT to stress?? I'm getting off subject. I guess the work-up to Cristian's 1st birthday was harder on me than I thought it would be. I expected party planning to be stressful, but I did not think about the loss of Philip to factor in. I was so unprepared. Oh, I've gone on longer than I meant to...anyway, it has been a hard few weeks.

Here are a few pics from our 2nd annual camping trip with the Leos family. This year we traded the camper for a cabin and Guadelupe State Park for Garner State Park. I was bad mom and didn't take very many pictures…guess I was 'on vacation'. Ha! The water was a bit too cold for the little guy, so he just hung in the stroller and played (tried to eat) with this noodle.